More than anything, your actions show what you really believe. You cannot rely on the method, “Do as I say and not as I do!” to teach your children in the way they should go. God tells us to teach our children when we get up in the morning until we go to bed at night. He tells us to talk about His commandments when we sit in our house and when we walk along the way. In other words, we are to tell our children about God in all that we do. God must be real in your life for you to do this! Time must be spent in God’s word. You must be prepared.

Two truths that you can always show your children is that God is Great and Good. God’s creation shows his greatness. Man has tried to ignore the greatness of God by denying God the credit and glory of His creation. Genesis, Chapter 1, tells the creation account. In six days, God did His creation work. How great is our God!

And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. — Genesis 1:31 (KJV)

This creation work of God is so important to Him, that one of His names is Creator. It is a great comfort to us, and our little ones, to know that the One who created all things is the One whom we can trust with every detail of our lives. There is nothing too big or small that God cannot take care of!

Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. — Isaiah 40:28 (KJV)

In fact, because God created everything, He is able to give wisdom and understanding for all the issues of life. A little one can know that, “Daddy and Mommy know God, and, God makes them wise and strong to protect me.”

Because we have a great God, we do not need to fear. Your children can place their trust in you because of the God you love and serve. They can know that when Daddy or Mommy have a problem they take it to God. As they see this work again and again, they learn that God is a Great God who takes care of, not only Daddy and Mommy, but also of them!

Know therefore that the LORD thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations; — Deuteronomy 7:9 (KJV)

Your children must also know that God is a Good God. Once again, they will only learn this if you live your life believing this truth. There are so many things that you can give glory to God. Think of simple things, like the new day, the home you live in, and the food and clothing you have. God is good in that he loves and cares for us!

Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. — Matthew 6:30-32 (KJV)

God is good and he will provide for you and your family. Model thankfulness in your life and you will raise children who are thankful, too.

God’s goodness does not end with physical provision, but extends to a most glorious level. That level is salvation. Even though we do not deserve it, God provides a way for us to be with Him forever! This is the blessed hope of all who trust in Christ. This is the blessed hope that your children must see in your life.

Every child will one day reach a point in their life where they will be searching for love, acceptance, and their own identity. Either they will find it with God and their family, or they will find it in the pleasures of the world. The foundation for these future decisions is laid down when they are young. As much as your children try to please you, they know deep down inside that they will never be perfect. They know their sin all too well.

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; — Romans 3:23 (KJV)

They will also, one day, come face to face with the fact that God is a Holy God who must judge sin. This is a scary thought for children, and especially teenagers.

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23 (KJV)

It is up to you, as a father or mother, to show how good God really is. God is so good that he has given us a way to be right with Him. It is so easy to focus on the first part of Romans 6:23 and miss the second part! A child dealing with guilt can especially obsess on God’s judgment. Are you bringing down judgment on the child, too? Or, are you pointing to the way of forgiveness and cleansing? It is so easy to make your child feel like they need to work their way out of their sin. While we know there are consequences for actions, we also know that a great burden is lifted through confession, repentance, forgiveness, and restoration.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. — Ephesians 2:8-9 (KJV)

Show through your actions how good God is. Show forth the love of God that is in your heart. Seek God to increase your love! God has given you a gift that your children can receive, too. It is a gift that shows God’s goodness above all that could ever be done. Remember that “the gift of God is eternal life.” It is given, though we do not deserve it. Yes, God is a Great and Good God.

God bless, Mike

Children are given a powerful drive by their Creator. That drive is to learn. From the moment of conception, they are a sponge desiring to learn everything they can about the world around them. Question after question forms in their mind. Answer after answer they relentlessly seek. They form these answers to their questions. The answer may be right or it may be wrong. For example:

A six-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord’s Prayer at a church service: “And forgive us our trash passes as we forgive those who passed trash against us.”

It is easy for a child to get it wrong if they hear things passively and are not instructed. God gave us his formula for instruction in Deuteronomy, Chapter 6.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. – Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (KJV)

I am convicted that I must do more of this in my home. I want to be a father who teaches my children about God through my actions, my conversation, my living, and everything I do with my family. As I do this, I want to share with you some ideas of how you can do this with your own children.

Notice that God’s commands must first be in your heart.

Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart. — 2 Corinthians 1:3 (KJV)

Your walk with the Lord must be what you want your children’s walk to be. Remember that more is caught than taught! God calls us to be diligent in our teaching. We are to talk about God to our children during all of our daily activities and interactions. From the time you rise up until the time you lie down, you are to “show and tell” your children about God. Tell them God’s wisdom and show them that you believe it through how you live your life.

Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law. For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live. — Proverbs 4:1-4 (KJV)

Solomon calls out to his children to hear the instruction he gives. Children are not to be left to figure out life on their own. Don’t we all want our children to live according to God’s wisdom? Then it is up to the parents, especially the fathers, to teach their children God’s wisdom, as God has told them to teach it.

Think about how you teach your children. Imagine yourself supervising a job your child is doing. How do you go about it? Do you stand over them, arms crossed, watching everything they do? Or, is your method one of indifference? Do you send them off to do a task while you watch television or do your own thing?

What if you did this differently? Try working together. While you are working, talk about what God showed you today. Talk about God’s creation, or how God made us in His image. Mention that God gave us work for our good. Ask your son or daughter about their relationship with God. Pray to God and ask Him to give you wisdom as you teach your children. Do this in all that you do. Other things can wait. Teaching your children, according to God’s way, cannot.

God bless, Mike

Lift up your eyes, and behold them that come from the north: where is the flock that was given thee, thy beautiful flock? — Jeremiah 13:20 (KJV)

God brought judgment on Judah because they refused to hear God’s words. They were carried away captive by the godless people from the north. This is what Jeremiah’s lament is about. Where is thy beautiful flock?

When I think about the man and his son, I wonder, “Where is the beautiful son that I remember? What happened to that boy who’s smile could light up a room?” Our children are the flock that God has given us. This man’s son had been taken away. By what? I don’t know. This I do know. It doesn’t have to stay that way. God makes this promise to us.

Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. — Malachi 4:5-6 (KJV)

These two verses close out the Old Testament. It is a prophecy of what God will do. It says that God will turn the heart of the father to his children. With this, he also turns the hearts of the children to their father. There is an order here that I want to explore that may not be obvious at first.

You can clearly see that the father’s heart is turned first. But what turns his heart? Is it what the prophet says? If so, what is the great message of the prophets? I would put forth that it is for man to turn back to God to and repent of his sins! That is the kind of man that God will do a great “heart work” in. That is the man that God will cause his children’s hearts to turn back to. A right heart toward God will produce a right heart toward your children. It is here that reconciliation and restoration can occur.

If you don’t do it, these verses have a different message. It says that God will smite the earth with a curse. I think that this curse, at least in part, is the disobedience and rebellion of your children.

I pray that you don’t have this in your home. It is extremely important that you watch the relationships you have with your children. Look for signs that things are not quite right. Reflect on your own life to see if your heart is after something other than God.

I found something interesting when studying the life of Jacob. There is a point in time when Jacob realizes that God had not forgotten him. He is speaking to his wives, Rachel and Leah about their father.

And Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah to the field unto his flock, And said unto them, I see your father’s countenance, that it is not toward me as before; but the God of my father hath been with me. — Genesis 31:4-5 (KJV)

Notice how Jacob realizes that “the God of my father hath been with me.” I especially want to emphasize that it is the God of Jacob’s father. In his time of distress, Jacob remembers the God of his father. Isaac’s God was real to Jacob, because God was real to Isaac. Here is where your faith in God comes in. It is seen daily in your life and witnessed by your children. They will believe this more than anything you say. It is your actions toward God and toward your children that count.

Turn your heart toward God, who will turn you and your children’s hearts toward each other in love.

God Bless, Mike

We all have good and bad days when it comes to family relationships. It is a valuable activity to make an honest appraisal of how well your children get along with each other. If there is disharmony or distance, you have a problem that needs to be addressed.

For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. — James 3:16-17 (KJV)

Envy and strife can show themselves in different ways. One child may express it in a way that causes disharmony, while another may withdraw and become distant. This verse states that when you see envying and strife, you will find confusion and evil works. You may not be able to put your finger on it, but you know something is not right. As a parent, you need to seek God’s wisdom for this problem.

God uses strong language in the Bible. He calls it like it is. We tend to make excuses for what is going on by using weaker language when thinking about these issues. If you see glares flying from one child to another, do you pass it off as sibling rivalry, or, do you see it as envy manifesting itself? What about an on-going feud between a brother and sister? Are they learning Godly roles for men and women as they grow up, or, is this strife manifesting itself?

If your child withdraws and becomes distant, do you pass it off as a stage they are going through? It seems to be “normal behavior” in our society today, for teenagers to distance themselves from their parents and siblings. They begin to set their affections on someone or something else and you start to loose their heart. (This can even happen at an earlier age!) The teen years are a time when children should be a blessing and of great help. The family should grow closer together in love and caring.

What is it in your child’s life that is stealing their affections? It could be as simple as a gift your child received that now consumes that child’s time and attention. They like the gift a lot. In fact, they may even love that gift above their family. This sounds extreme, but think about it. If there is strife in your home, what is the cause of it? Is there something that one of your child loves so much that it is starting to divide your family?

Does God’s peace characterize your family? I think this is something that we have a hard time relating to, because our culture is so fast-paced and anything but quiet. If that affects us, just think of the influence it has on our children. When I think of peace, I think of deep contentment. I think of time to spend with your children, forming strong ties with their hearts. I see the love of God and family that lasts eternally. It is built on faith in God that lasts for generations.

When I tried to think of examples from Scripture, I immediately thought of Timothy, the young pastor, who was as a son to Paul. Who helped to produce this faith in Timothy?

When I call to rememberance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. — 2 Timothy 1:5 (KJV)

Paul gives credit to Timothy’s mother and grandmother. It was Timothy’s home life that produced unfeigned faith. Lois and Eunice were godly women who passed that faith on to Timothy. I believe that this was not common in that day and age. It is probably less common today to see multi-generational faith pouring into the life of a child. If you have that, you are blessed indeed! If you don’t have it, then it is time to start! You can set the foundation with Jesus as the cornerstone. On that foundation, your children and grandchildren will be built and can be used of God.

Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers. — Proverbs 17: (KJV)

Look over your children and think about what you see. Examine everything from an eternal perspective. Only faith in Jesus is lasting. There is no joy if any of your children gain the whole world, yet loose their soul. There is no glory in that. Use love as a measuring stick and faith in Jesus Christ as your point of reference. Build your family together with a common purpose and goal. Set your sights on the Savior and lead your children with you. Don’t let them go their own way and get lost.

God bless, Mike

Last Father’s Day, my children sang a song for me. It was put to the tune of “Savior Like a Shepherd Lead Us.” Here are the words.

Father, like a shepherd lead us,
Much we need thy tender care;
In thy pleasant pastures feed us,
For our use thy home prepare.
Blessed Father, Blessed Father,
Thou wast giv’n us, thine we are.

We are thine; do thou instruct us;
Be the guardian of our way;
Keep thy flock; from sin defend us;
Seek us when we go astray.
Blessed Father, Blessed Father,
Hear thy children when we play.

Early let us seek thy favor;
Early let us do thy will;
Blessed Lord and earthly Father,
With God’s love our bosoms fill.
Blessed Father, Blessed Father,
Thou hast loved us, love us still.

- Children’s version of “Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us”

Needless to say, it touched my heart deeply. What a joy it was to hear their sweet voices, asking me through beautiful song, to shepherd their souls! I believe that this is the desire of all children, that their father would love them like a good shepherd. The Lord Jesus tells us what it means to be a good shepherd.

I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.
John 10:11 (KJV)

This verse is set in the context of a shepherd, protecting his sheep from thieves and robbers.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy
John 10:10a (KJV)

The purpose of the enemy is to destroy our children! It is against this that we have to maintain constant vigilance. Jesus compares the good shepherd to an hireling. The hireling flees when trouble comes. This can take many forms, but let’s consider one form you may not have thought about.

What do you do when you sense something is not right with your child? You would know this if you are a careful observer of your child’s soul. Do you approach your child with firm love? Or, do you let it go, hoping that it will go away. “It’s just a stage he is going through.” “All teenagers are like that!” “She is just tired. I’m sure it will pass.” It can be easy to justify a behavior or attitude, rather than addressing it and getting to the heart of the matter. Don’t make excuses! Take action!

You may ask, “How do I take action?” I have found that this is a matter, first of all, for prayer. You must seek God’s guidance, wisdom, and leading. You also must be absolutely calm and in control. Remember, you are approaching you beloved child in order to find out what is wrong. It is a heart matter and this matter is very dear to the child. Whatever it is that your child is struggling with, you as the parent must help them to get it in the open.

This can be a time of great blessing and instruction. It must not be delayed or ignored! There is no more tender a time than when a child confesses to you what is on their heart. It should be a cleansing time where the weight of the world is lifted from their shoulders. It should be a time that brings you and your child closer together. It won’t happen, if you are not diligent in the care of your flock.

Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds.
Proverbs 27:23 (KJV)

Take the time to carefully and continually observe the spiritual state of your children. Then, be a good shepherd to them, like the Lord Jesus is to you.

God Bless, Mike

This excerpt from Psalm 128 describes something that everyone desires. That is, to be happy and well. In Part 1, we looked at some of the blessings that God gives to those that fear Him and walk in His ways. Contentment is one of these blessings. Your wife is another blessing that God promises.

I shall seek God’s blessing!

God’s blessing is promised to those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways. This is a theme that is repeated throughout the Bible. I have listed a few verses on this topic and I am sure that you can find many others.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7 (KJV)

But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him. Luke 12:5 (KJV)

But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
James 1:22 (KJV)

If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honor. John 12:26 (KJV)

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. John 14:6 (KJV)

Randy Alcorn, in his book The Purity Principle, gives this description of what it means to fear the Lord. “The fear of God is a profound respect for His holiness, which includes a fear of the consequences of disobeying Him.” Equally important is the need to follow God and walk in His ways. The blessings promised, especially for your family, are too important to be ignored. These blessings come because you follow and obey God.

Read Psalm 128 again and think about how it applies to you and your family. We left off last time with God comparing our wife to a fruitful vine. We looked at how diligent you must be in the care and nurture of your wife. This “nurturing” that you do is the natural out-pouring of the God-fearing life of a man who walks in God’s ways. You are changed from the inside and this has a profound effect on your wife and family.

1 Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD;
that walketh in his ways.
2 For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands:
happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.
3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house:
thy children like olive plants round about thy table.
4 Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD.
5 The LORD shall bless thee out of Zion:
and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life.
6 Yea, thou shalt see thy children’s children, and peace upon Israel.
Psalm 128 (KJV)

God gives another promise. This promise is about your children. He compares our children to olive plants. This is an interesting comparison if you consider the olive tree. An olive plant is slow-growing. Much patience and discipline is needed to grow an olive plant into a tree. It takes about 15 years before an olive tree will produce fruit. Once an olive tree is properly rooted, it will grow to a great age and bear much fruit. In fact, once it is established, it needs little supervision and it can live for hundreds of years. The olive tree will continue to produce, even in the driest of conditions.

The olive is a very important crop. Failure of this crop can lead to ruin. However, the olive branch is a symbol of peace, prosperity, and wealth. Can you see the application to your children in the illustration of the olive plant? Children are delicate when young. This is where everything is established for their lives. How you nurture and grow them now will have so much impact on the fruitfulness of their lives. Are they properly rooted in the things of God so that they will bear fruit until old age, in all sorts of diverse situations? Is their faith firmly established in Christ Jesus?

Psalm 128 concludes with more blessings from the Lord. We can see God’s faithfulness through the generations. Oh, to see our children’s children when there is peace for our nation! To know that faith in Jesus Christ is carried forward in future blessings in our grandchildren. These blessings actually overtake our grandchildren with a wave of faith. They can’t help but trust God! All this, because we followed God out of a deep respect for Him.

Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD;
that walketh in his ways.
Psalm 128:1 (KJV)

God bless, Mike